Welcome to The Infidel Boat Club

M1 - bumped Emmanuel II

I'm sure the majority of Cambridge were very excited when they woke up this morning and saw that it wasn't raining outside, for this could mean only one thing. The Girton mohawks would be back on the river in force. With the crowds cheering, more for the hair probably than the rowing, the row down was particularly enjoyable. The practice starts were fast and powerful and the crew high on confidence from the previous couple of days.

.....Broadhurst laid the power down from the start. Grunting like a man stallion that he is, the power just flowed from his blade. Emma 2 stopped in awe as Broadhurst lifted the boat by himself. His huge guns were heaving, and sweat dripped from his brow due to the exertions. Women swooned on the bank as his chest rippled with muscle, his tech top ripping under the strain......

Our bowman was told to pay attention on the start, when he seemed to be off in dreamland. He was in an alternative universe and supposedly good at rowing.

The actual start was pretty standard, as we battled against the unexpected side gusts, bringing the rating up to the usual 43 coming under the bridge. The initial stride took the rating to around 41, and as before in the previous couple of days another stride was called to contain the excitement of the crew - eventually bringing it to 38. The first whistle came half way down first post reach, and the crew sat up and starting to enjoy the race. Emma II were racing hard to catch CCAT in front of them, and were not going to give up the bump easy.

The second whistle wasn't heard till coming round first post, with Hannah taking a very quick corner, reducing more distance from the Emma stern. At the sound of the second whistle, and the worry that Emma II may bump out, the crew really got to work and powered through the gut, getting closer every second. Two whistles turned into three, and with a bumps ten called, we hit Emma on the third stroke, just before grassy corner.

Bring on CCAT tomorrow. Of course our crew knows all about bringing it on, from our inspirational crew videos.

......Just before grassy corner, Broadhurst called to finish Emma 2 - after the rest of the crew failed to respond he did it himself, powering through. With the Emma cox crying at the sight of Broadhurst's bulging muscleyness, he then proceeded to destroy her, along with the stern half of the Emma boat. The marshall called him to stop, but Broadhurst doesn't listen to marshals. His domination knows no bounds!!!!!!......

W1 - bumped Newnham

Having taken 2 and a half lengths off Newnham in the second half of the course on thursday, W1 were ready and raring to go. Julia "what a legend" Farrant had left her work experience in London early to arrive at the boat house an hour before we pushed off and quickly joined the consensual feeling that Newnham were going down. With a little help from the wise words of Al Pacino and local motivational speaker Jimminy Appleton, we set off ready to take them roughly from behind. Thankfully, we already had what it took and just needed the confidence to get it together in that first half. And that we did.

From our solid warm up, you could tell just how much every one of us wanted it and off the start we finally came together and showed exactly what we could do. Around first post it almost went off with a couple of duff strokes but that was quickly recovered and we were back on our game. LMBC were on a whistle but couldn't get any closer whilst we drew Newnham in with ease. Coming around ditton, we knew they were ours.

Andy took a risky line which resulted in the Newnham cox conceding and the senior umpire calling a bump. However, drama ensued as the Umpire fell off his bike (probably pushed by an over- zealous Newnham supporter) and Newnham continued rowing, claiming that they hadn't conceded after all. Unsure of what to do, Andy called a re-start and what an awesome re-start it was.

Fortunately, the bump had been called and our bank party shouted at us to pull in, however I'm pretty sure we could have bumped them twice! -- Katie Wood

M2 - bumped by Fitzwilliam II

Pumped with lad-chat and our Blitzgrieg style race plan, we were ready for anything. The boat behind, Fitz, knew what could happen if they tried to mess with Girton M2; last lents in a desperate attempt to avoid our bump they drove into the side of the bank, injuring their 4man. Ready and raring to go, with a new cox and new subs we were feeling especially mighty. Our start saw us wind even faster than yesterday, bow men getting caught in a friendly fire-like shelling of backsplash from stern pair.

Holding station on Magadalene, Fitz started to creep up on us. First post saw them gain the 3-whistles. It looked like it might be over as we straightened up for the gut. However, Girton gave an almighty push and their attempt at a 'tight' corner saw them power into the bank (again), sending at least one rower into the Cam. Pushing out of grassy it looked like we were home and dry - the row over was ours. With friendly cries from the bank we powered the Green Monster back down the reach.

Fitz would have to have better luck tomorrow! Or would they? Back at the boathouse there was constertation. Did Fitz bump us? Was there enough overlap? Claims that their bow was 'up to the 6 man' as they spacked into the corner were clearly exaggerated. They definitly didnt get past stroke, but had they got their bowball close enough to Weifong before it went into the bank? Did anyone whisper hold it up? We doubt it.

What about the boat behind who then got a rather nice surprise coming round first post corner to see Fitz floundering with one man in the water? Sounds like dangerous coxing to me at least. Furthermore, squawks as Fitz checked the bank for boat-shaped gaps indicated their quest had at least found some marine life. Whether they left the swans alive is another matter. So - dramatic escape or bump? We shall find out later... and Tims on our side! -- Matt Eaton

W2 - rowed over

Today's race kept the excitement up till last. After being bumped twice the mood was almost going down, but we were nowhere near to giving up. We found ourselves in a similar starting position as in the beginning, being chased by Caius who bumped us the first day, but got overbumped yesterday. It was clear we wouldn't give them the satisfaction of winning over the same crew twice and instead wave them goodbye.

We took off with a crisp start, sliding into a smooth stride on a high rating, determined to row over and keep Caius away until Corpus would catch them. The three boats soon stuck close together but Calum made us push away from them again and again after the motorway bridge. We felt together and strong, even more than in the past days.

Suddenly we were told to stop and pulled in quickly, not knowing however what exactly had happened. Caius seemed close but Corpus were breathing down their neck. Waiting at first post corner we learned that the umpires were still debating, and slightly feared a bump or a re-row to be announced. But then the happy news: technical row-over! Corpus had caught Caius before they got us. They might have got whistles on us, but we rowed home whistling happily. -- Maruta Herding

M3 - rowed over

With grey skies retreating we lowered Juliet once more into the murky brown waters of the Cam. The flag was raised above the boathouse and the spirit was one of general optimism. We would again be thrust forward to engage with CCAT. Today however we found ourselves at the opposite end of the course, seeking to catch rather than escape their very clean rowing. Waiting near the motorway bridge we found ourselves parked closer still to the canons. This time we certainly would not be able to ignore it's powder laden crack.

The first came as a surprise and the boat seemed to lurch as if jumping from the water, though the remaining canons followed as expected and again marked our initial propulsion along the river. Almost immediately the blue and red shirts of the Darwinian crew behind us disappeared, relegated to a position well beyond our sight and obliterated by the wash from both CCAT and Girtonian crews.

Strong clean strokes punctuated the water and as if hearing mention of a Romeo around the bend sped rapidly. Within seconds we heard our first whistle. Two whistle blasts then rang from the bank. We had gained on CCAT. Two whistles, two whistles, they were fighting just as hard. Placing ever greater pressure through the water we surged forward and prompted a continuous whistle. Each crew could feel the presence of the other, and their cox seemingly began to raise a concessionary hand, then did not.

The whistles from the bank still continuous we cleanly took bend and straight in an agonising moment of exhaustive effort. Locked with our bow beyond their stern all that remained was the bump. It was however, to be a bump that was never made. The Juliet's crew could nor place the final blow on CCAT and seal our victory. The last few precious strokes, a simple couple squeezed from what remained within the boat could not be released and we were pushed back.

The course was running out and we tailed to the sound of one and two whistle blows, peppering the air as if with gunfire. They held, we held, neither able to break the stalemate which had ensued. Returning to stations after the railway bridge we stroked with great co-ordination towards the finish, though regrettably with only a row-over to our names for both teams.

It was the most bitter result, having tasted victory through momentary expectation only to have the opportunity wrenched from beneath our bow. The score for this race at least, unsettled.

W3 - bumped by Sidney Sussex II

M4 - bumped by Clare Hall II

On this ill-boding Friday the 13th, M4 gathered at the boat house, the mood being one of revenge - of not giving up without a fight today, for no reason whatsoever. Indeed, the row down was excellent, with 2 excellent starts that saw the AD flying - the crew was gathered, calm and yet focussed. Some slightly inappropriate jokes - no swearing, of course! - during the minutes in which we waited for the 4-minute gun to pierce our eardrums lightnened the mood, but the focus never really wavered from the aim: BUMP! As the start gun came, a slightly less neat start than the practices saw M4 off in their attempt to bump Darwin III (again).

The first whistle was achieved during the ferocious power 10 off the start, and the crew held station against both Darwin and Clare Hall II, who were chasing us. Two whistles were about to be blown, but alas! an unfortunate crab hamstringed M4 in the middle of their efforts to reach Darwin's riggers. Clare Hall used the opportunity to close in mercilessly and catch us soon after, as we struggled to get back to a solid rhythm. The day ended with a bump, but spirits are not broken - an opportunity for revenge awaits tomorrow!

Zoe, our cox in these first 3 days of Bumps, unfortunately had to make her leave today - at this point, I would like to appreciate and offer thanks for her excellent performance and amazing progress in the short weeks of Easter Term, and wish her the best of luck during her internship! - Jonathan Fuhrmann

M1 - bumped Jesus II
Sadly today M1 disappointed their thousands (ok, at least two) fans by sporting mullets (thankfully hidden under hats) instead of mohawks. After psyching themselves up with music from Rocky, Top Gun and B*witched and a last minute crew talk from Crowbar about how exactly he was going to use his whistle, we went off arms only almost in time. The aim was simple - if we bumped we were allowed to sing the Imperial March from Star Wars. What more incentive could we need?
After being slightly confused by the fact that Eddies did not offer their traditional greeting to our five man, we had a solid row down, with a couple of flying practice starts; after confusing yet another Senior Umpire with our choice of Pole Master (yes, Lance is from Fitz), we settled down to await the cannons…
An awesome pole out and we were off. Two powerful draw strokes followed quickly by our best wind yet and we were flying towards the motorway bridge. The stride came and we settled to 38, eating into the water between us and Jesus. The first whistle came and Owen sat up and smiled. Jesus were closing in on Emma and we knew we had to make a move. It was called, and it came, one whistle becoming two then three we sneaked inside on First Post corner, overlap quickly becoming a bump.
We cleared quickly (with Wolfson's help - thank you Wolfson) and after collecting greenery (this time managing to give Barney something he was not allergic to!) we had a solid row home sadly lacking in innuendo in comparison to yesterday. Our rendition of the Imperial March was not very good.
Back at the boat house, tradition was restored as Eddies helped us in and greeted Rich with "Alright Sweaty Balls!". -- Hannah James
W1 - rowed over
The rowing gods continue to turn their backs upon Girton who struggled to find a body for their four seat which has essentially been the sub seat for the entire term. Thankfully Hannah Schubert stepped up, having already rowed (and bumped very quickly) with the Vet boat. We had a more solid warm up and a crew ahead that we knew that we could get.
Hoooooowever, yet another "special" start left us 2 and a half lengths down behind Newnham and closer to FaT than preferable. This time it took us until ditton to pull our fingers out and suddenly, we started to move. From 2 and a half lengths at the plough, we got to three whistles under the railway bridge and held it. But no greenery. Tomorrow, they will be ours. -- Katie Wood.
M2 - bumped by Magdalene II
The M2 start is a special beast. Combining determination and raw power with uber-high rating, drenching torrents of backsplash, repeated calls for some sort of stride, poor physical fitness and interesting individual techinques, it has always been a sight to behold. However, someone had tipped Magdalene off behind us, and their start mirrored ours move for move. They weren't going to give us a head start!
Racing down from the Motorway Bridge saw them edge closer as we eventually settled into a rythmn. Going round first post corner saw them gain a whistle, rapidly followed by a second. Whilst we held them off for a little while longer, sadly they were in the end too strong, bumping us just before grassy. Bumped down. -- Matt Eaton
W2 - bumped by Sidney Sussex
Having been outdone by Cauis yesterday, and hearing their coach on the bank when marshalling say "Girton won't be an issue", we were fired up to get them today. The good news is that we got whistles on them quickly. The bad news is that a very strong Sidney crew bumped us before we had a chance to turn the whistle into a bump. The other good news is that Caius were overbumped by Downing, and so will be chasing us again tomorrow - so tactics are to go out all guns blazing because Caius will crumble quickly and nice Corpus will catch them :) -- Rosemary Anthony
M3 - overbumped by Downing IV
The second day began as any other, with the majority of the boat's crew drawn to the water via the usual cross-common cycle ride. Yet unlike previous days the mood was much more reserved, the atmosphere one of overwhelming stoicism. Our crew were still quietly disappointed by our prior performance, however rendered silent mainly by the full comprehension of what events would follow. Somewhat sombre, we rowed our way along the river to the start point where we sat, waiting.
In front were St. John's, sent down a division after being bumped by those who had bumped us the same day. Behind us, CCAT, who having rowed over before were now ever more eager to catch us. It seemed as if all that could match our steel reserve was that of the grey storm clouds hanging ominously above our heads. Daunted, we were pushed from the bank at the second canon and awaited our second trial.
Hardly seconds later we found it. Driving powerfully forward we thrust ourselves quickly into the St.John's wash. One whistle. Meanwhile CCAT dug deep, finding the pressure to close on our stern. Furiously, each boat tried to find the power needed to alter the deadlock. It came decisively as St. John's moved to stations and CCAT closed, though now with rivals behind them. We were once again embroiled in a three boat struggle for the winning bump. CCAT stepped up and so did we. Two whistles. Two whistles everywhere. The three boats now locked within two whistles of each other. With steady resolve and smooth rowing, we held CCAT off long enough for them to be bumped out of the race.
It was now back to John's. We followed quickly with across the course. Scrabbling for dominance we repeatedly flirted with one blow on the whistle, then falling back to stations, the advances and setbacks of each team matched in their attempts. Some very clean rowing along the reach saw us into a momentarily strong position, though Downing were closing, eager for the over-bump. It seemed as if there would be a three boat row-off yet again. With every last bit of borrowed energy we passed under the railway bridge and onto the straight.
The end of the course was close, but Downing closed cleanly and secured their victory with our second defeat. It was a defeat of which we can be proud. Respectful not only of Downing, but ourselves, it was a far stronger boat that returned than had initially set-off. Heads held high, the Juliet Campbell began to decisively pulse its way through the water, her green and red bow today slicing the river with such dignity as was undoubtedly befitting the efforts of those Girtonians to whom it has been fleetingly entrusted. -- Jon Manns
W3 - bumped by King's II
M4 - bumped by Darwin III